Saturday, 25 April 2015

Mock Fellows and Mock Life

Mock Fellows are the human equivalent to Mock Animals. Although built for purpose, they're too susceptible to slapstick outbreaks to be truly useful.

They  have all the usual properties of a Mockery:
- They are made out of cloth, wood, metal, and clay, so practically any damage is repairable.
- They talk and sing, but tend towards base intelligence.
- They do not need to eat or sleep, and are unaffected by alcohol and disease, but pretend as part of their life imitation.
- Real animals hate them. Children love them, unless they're horrifying.

Roll d8 for a Mock Fellow. Ability Scores are 10 unless noted otherwise.
1 - Mock Infant - STR 2, DEX 2, WIL 5, 1hp. Pearl eyes and clay skin. Wants to sleep, eat, and cry.
2 - Mock Concierge - 4hp. Tiny waxed mustache, service trolley filled with silly items (giant comb, prosthetic leg, bomb, Mock Suckling Pig on a Platter). Wants to tend to the needs of guests, while pocketing some valuables for himself for an eventual retirement.
3 - Mock Legion - Detachment, 5hp, Mini-Muskets (d6), pit helmets. Want to be taken seriously as a fighting force, and travel to far off lands.
4 - Mock Advocate - 3hp, WIL 20. Powdered wig, feather-stuffing leaking out of a bloated belly. Wants to disagree with any point made by anyone, and present controversial opinions.
5 - Mock Spirit - 5hp. Dusty chains (d6). Wants to warn wicked people away from their current path

6 - Mock Giant - STR 18, DEX 4, 10hp, Armour 1. Towering fuzzy body. Wants to use his great strength to help the people, but is incredibly clumsy and stupid.
7 - Mock Barber - 8hp. Four Heads, Cane and Razor (d8) Stripy Felt Body. Wants to sing and shave.
8 - Mock Urchin - STR 5, 2hp. Wants to appear pitiful to gather money for her owner.

Mock Life
Nobody agrees on what brings Mockeries to life. Mockeries don't remember being brought to life, and have little memory of how old they are.

Roll d12 for a common explanation. Maybe one is the truth. Maybe they all are. Maybe none.
1 - Gestation inside a female undergoing phantom pregnancy.
2 - Soaking in a blend of oils from deep-sea creatures.
3 - Wishing upon a star.
4 - An Arcanum underground that's so big anyone can invoke it if they know the right ritual.
5 - A living brain from a suitable being.
6 - The last breath of a person dying of natural causes.
7 - Kiss of a Cosmic Angel.
8 - Playing specific music, lighting the right configuration of candles, applying makeup and dressing in the burial clothes of an infant.
9 - A year spent with a child who already sees them as alive.
10 - Marriage to an already living Mockery.
11 - Small parts found inside other Mockeries.
12 - A complex system of gears and crystals that crumble on death.

1 comment:

  1. This is unacceptable. Where are the rules for mock naked old men?